* CATCH AND RELEASE ,

[joshua alexander mercer]

if you ask poor joshua mercer if today was a good day, he would have adamantly told you that it had been. josh was extremely mature and intelligent for a five year old, so he knew better than to believe that his mommy and daddy were lying when they told him how disappointed they were in him. his heart burned at the thought; he hadn't meant to hurt miles, honest! but even his mom had yelled at him, and she never, ever yelled at anyone. miles had been crying when he was sent to his room, his own eyes bright with unspilled tears. immediately, he grabbed his backpack for school and begged superman, who was on the front, to come and save him. not once in the two years josh had been at home with the mercers, had they ever hit him or hurt him. not once. but he still got afraid whenever they got angry. he knew angry people better than he knew his legos, and that was a LOT. all josh knew was that when people got mad, he got hurt, and that was the last thing he wanted from his mommy and daddy now. so why not just remove himself from the equation completely? he packed his backpack with underwear, a sweatshirt, and his favorite scooby doo flashlight before darting out the door, past the kitchen where his mommy and daddy were cooing over miles, who was still sniffling. he paused for a moment, gazing at them with wide blue eyes and contemplated going in and apologizing when his daddy's angry voice floated softly to him, "i can't believe josh was so irresponsible with you. i'm going to have to have a talk with him." he told miles in a baby talk, yet stern, voice. the words sent a chill down his spine, and he closed his eyes, darting down the hallway and quietly opening the front door and closing it behind him. we're going to have a stern talk, you and i, joshua. a slow, taunting voice told him as he ran as fast as he could down the sidewalk. that was exactly what his old mom used to tell him... and then she'd hurt him. pull his hair, slap him around... josh didn't want that anymore!

soon, his little feet grew tired and he stumbled over himself, falling onto his face in the gravel and successfully banging himself up. sobs wracked through his tiny frame, and he wiped his face, staring at the blood from his nose on his fingers. he moved to wipe them on his jeans, scrambling up and limping over the play area of the park, falling underneath the jungle gym in the wet sand. and just like that, the skies opened up. his mommy had told him once that when it rained, God was crying. josh's tears intensified. was God sad like he was, too? he sure hoped not, because this hurt. this hurt really bad. he drew his knees to his chest and continued sobbing, his body shuddering as the thunder cracked over head and he cried out in fear. was God angry with him, too? "i'm s-s-sorry!" he cried out in huge gasping breaths to whoever could hear him. he was so sorry.

[colton adam mercer.]

Colton Mercer had now had two years of experience with fatherhood. Yet, he knew that there was still so much to learn. He was far from the perfect father. He had made plenty of mistakes, and he knew that he was going to make plenty more. So far, however, things had seemed to be going pretty well. He may not have been perfect, but he had his lovely wife to help him. Not to mention, two pretty amazing children. He had to admit that he had it pretty good, and he wouldn't change a thing. His eldest son, Joshua, was not technically his child. Not by birth, anyway. Even so, Josh was Colton's son. Having been adopted himself, he knew just how much one could become a part of a family. You didn't have to be blood to be family. As much as Colton loved him, though, there will still times when he could get angry at him as any father would. Today happened to be one of those times. He and Eden had been cuddling in their room when they'd heard a cry. As they rushed in, they learned that Josh had pushed Miles, Colton's second and biological son. Physical violence wasn't tolerated in his household and before he knew it, he was scolding Josh as severely as he ever had.

After he'd gone to his room, Colton and Eden spent a little while fussing over Miles. Maybe they were just overprotective, but Miles was their miracle child, after all. It was only natural to be a little extra worried. Of course, after a few moments and the promise of ice cream, Miles was feeling much better. This was when Colton knew he needed to have a talk with Josh. It was unlike the young boy to be violent, but Colt didn't want to risk this turning into anything more. So, with a sigh, he knocked lightly on Josh's bedroom door and opened it. His heart thundered to a stop when he found the room empty. Where had he gone? He'd been specifically told to go to his room. Quickly, Colton began searching the other rooms in on the top level of the house. When they were revealed to be empty as well, he made his way downstairs, checking the living room, peeking into the kitchen to find Eden and Miles, the laundry room. Nothing. Finally, he descended to the small recording studio that he'd had installed in the basement. Again there was no one. This was when Colton began to get afraid. It wasn't like Josh to leave the house without letting them know. A quick scan of the backyard told him that Josh was, in fact, not home.

Taking a deep breath, Colton stepped into the threshold of the kitchen. "Hey, I have to go out really quick. I'll be right back. I love you." With that, Colt moved towards the front door, not giving Eden enough time to ask what was up. Once outside, he started calling for his son, fear sinking into his bones the longer he was out. When it started raining, Colton began to get frantic. Searching his mind, he started towards the one place that he thought Josh would go. As he reached the park, he started jogging, still calling his name, and trying not to panic. Which was much easier said than done. If anything happened to Josh, he had no clue what he would do. After what felt like a year, he finally found him. The boy was curled up underneath the playground equipment to keep dry. Colton darted at him, falling to his knees in front of him, immediately starting to fuss over him. "Joshua Mercer, what were you thinking? Do you realize how worried I've been?! What are you doing out here? Jesus, you gave me a heart attack! Are you okay? You're bleeding, Josh! Don't you ever, ever run away like that again!" He then pulled him into a tight hug, exhaling in relief to realize that he was okay. For a moment, he could be happy.

[joshua alexander mercer]

josh was, in all honesty, a really good kid. he was good in school, extraordinarily even tempered, and had a gold heart. if anything, he was too quiet for a normal child but even he had his normal, hyper moments where he was more than able to act his age. pushing miles truly had been an accident. they'd been bickering over his precious box of legos - miles wanted to play with the super cool spaceship he had just made, but josh didn't want to let him. when miles had reached for it anyway, josh had pushed him away and miles had fallen and bonked his head on the table. honest, josh hadn't meant to hurt his beloved little brother; josh loved miles more than anything, even if he had been a little afraid at first that the younger boy would replace him in the hearts of his parents. josh knew that miles was special, but he loved his mommy and daddy so much! he couldn't bear it if they forgot about him now - he was finally happy. the happiest he'd ever been in all his life! he was sure that his parents had to see it, too. they had to see what they did to him. they made his heart happy whenever his mommy offered to bring him breakfast in bed, or whenever his daddy offered to help him kick the ball around in practice for the neighborhood league he just joined (even if daddy was really funny and always ended up tripping over the ball on purpose to make him laugh). colton had scolded him somtimes - josh didn't mind those as much, even if he did get shivers for a little while afterwards at the stern look on his face. but this time was different. they had actually yelled at him; they'd never, ever done that before and josh was scared.

the thunder and the rain were scaring him more in that moment, though, and he soon began to wish that he had just stayed home and weathered out whatever his mom and dad would have done to him. sob after sob shook his tiny frame, and he clenched his eyes shut, huge tears sliding down his cheeks, unrelenting. he let out a small scream as a particularily loud thunder clap caused his heart to jump, and he was about to dart up when suddenly, he heard his dad's voice. his blue eyes snapped open, red-rimmed and full of more tears and looked at colton's relieved face. he felt relief soak through him until he started fussing, sounding almost angry again. josh was tense, unbelievably tense, until that moment where instead of hitting him, colton brought him into his arms. burying his face in his daddy's shirt and letting out another choked sob, he managed to stutter out, "i'm s-sorry, d-daddy! i didn't m-mean to p-push miles... h-he wanted m-m-my spaceship b-but i d-d-didn't want to give it! b-but he t-tried to take i-it and i p-p-pushed him!" he stuttered out, crying even harder it seemed, yelping as another thunder clap hurt his ears. he clamped his hands over his ears, before sinking into colton a-again, "i'm sorry. i'll n-n-never d-do it again. e-e-ver... i p-promise... j-just... d-don't h-h-hurt me please.... p-please..." he faded off to a low whisper, "i'm sorry."

[colton adam mercer.]

Colton knew first hand what it was like to suffer from physical abuse. Before Eden's father, a man who had become very much like a father to himself, had adopted him, Colt had been living a nightmare. Even though he had been so young, he still remembered his time with that family in perfect clarity. By the age of eight, he'd already been bounced around from foster home to foster home. Each was terrible in it's own way. But, this one had been the worst by far. His foster mother and father were terrible people. And always, always they would take their anger out on him. It didn't even have to be his fault. Still, he was the victim. However, Eden had come to save him on that fateful day, and he would never forget it. It seemed fitting that years later, they were married. Unfortunately, the doctor had told Eden that she wouldn't be able to get pregnant. So, they'd turned to adoption. After all, it had worked out for Colton pretty well.

The moment he saw the small, scared little boy known as Josh, Colton had found the child he wanted to adopt. Aside from the lighter hair, Josh was exactly what Colton had been all those years ago. Abused, frightened, and weary. He couldn't not take him and shower him with as much affection as he could muster. Over time, Colt had come to know just what an amazing kid he'd gotten and he wouldn't have traded him for the world. So, it was to be expected that he would feel bad for scolding him the way he had. The talk he was going to have with Josh would also involve some apologizing. And when the boy was nowhere to be found, Colton couldn't help being terrified. Which resulted again in him being too harsh on his son. As he held him tightly, he felt him shaking from fear and sadness. A huge pang of guilt went through the young man. This was all his fault. He never should have yelled at him the way he had.

As Josh spoke, Colton's heart broke even further. "It's okay, Josh. Really. Miles probably doesn't even remember it anymore." Then what he said next cause his breath to catch and he pulled back to look him dead in the eye. "Josh, I would never, never hurt you. Not in a million years. I'm sorry I yelled at you earlier, but I would never hurt you. I hope you know that." It was then that he realized they needed to get out of the rain. "Come here." He said softly to him, picking him up into his arms and making his way to the nearby bathrooms used by the park goers. Once inside, he stood Josh up on the floor, frowning at how cold and scared he still looked. Quickly, he grabbed some paper towels, beginning to dry off Josh's hair and exposed skin. With a sigh, he looked him in the eye again. "I need you to know that I would never hit you, Josh. I know you've dealt with it in the past, but you don't have to worry about it anymore. No matter how angry I get, I will never touch you. I know what it's like to be hurt by the person who's supposed to be looking out for you. I will never let you down like that, okay? Do you believe me, buddy?"

[joshua alexander mercer]

joshua could remember very well what is was like to live with bad parents, and the mercer's were not like that in anyway. he'd admit that at first he had been wary, but who wouldn't be in his position? he'd been raised by parents who thought it would be fun to hit him, and what had he gotten for it? a skittish nature and a fear of everyone around him. but there had been something in colton, in his daddy, that had given him peace about being adopted by his family. this peace and honesty about him, that made josh cling to him the second he offered to be his new dad. and look where he was, two years later. happy as a little clam.. until he went and messed it up. maybe it would be a more defined complex when he got older, but for now it was just the terrifying fear of messing up and getting himself hurt for it, even by someone as gentle and kind hearted as his mommy and daddy. especially his mommy, which was why he was so surprised when she had raised her voice at him. mommy never yelled at anyone. josh could barely remember a time where he'd ever seen her really upset. and his mommy kept his daddy happy, who in trn kept josh happy. all in all, they were clearly a happy family. daddy would read to him and tuck him in before bed, mommy would watch movies with him during the day and take him out to play with miles. and miles, he loved more than anything. josh had never been so protective over anything as he was over miles, and yet look at what he had done. shame washed over him, and he let out another strangled cry as colton picked him up. he buried his face in his father's shoulder, holding onto his shirt tightly as he was carried all the way to the bathrooms. he was shivering and shaking as colton began to dry him off.

wide blue eyes stared colton down as he spoke to his son, and josh swallowed hard at his words. for a split second, part of him didn't believe him. everyone in his life had always ended up hurting him... how long before even colton broke his promise? but again, there was that honesty and apology in his daddy's eyes - he couldn't deny the fact that colton was telling the truth, and slowly, he nodded. "I b-believe you, daddy." he said softly, before reaching out and putting his hands on his cheeks, wanting his full attention. "i love you, d-daddy..." he whispered finally, before wrapping his arms all tightly around his neck and inhaling his smell shakily.